FLUID FANTASY - POEMS OF MATAMAYA

Thursday, 19 April 2012

51. DON'T !!

DON'T!!

Don't be sad when I can't let you

be a part of my life for it was never

meant to be.....

Don't give up on life when I shut you

away from the door to my heart for my heart

isn't with me.....

Don't shed a tear when I return your love

for your love deserve a better home and I

am not the one.....

Don't waste your words trying so hard

to talk me into receiving your sacred love

that deserves a holy sanctuary....

Don't ever regret what's not meant

to be for you should live and love someone

who loves you in return....

Don't turn back to watch me weep

over a love that's never mine

Go and look elsewhere.....

Don't be afraid of venturing again

even though your heart has been broken

Let it heal and love again....

Don't close your heart to a love

anew for you are still young and should

learn to live on....

Don't ever ever give up on your love

You are the best friend I have ever had

Let us remain so.....

- M@t@Maya (© 26-01-2009)

50. I NEED YOU TONIGHT

The loneliness I have to go through tonight

The longing I have for you to be near me

I am barely getting by till tomorrow's day light

Because I want you and I need you so badly

I can't imagine this life without you

I can't imagine waking up tomorrow

If you are not there I know I can't do

I can pull through because I need you

Wonder if you could feel what I'm going through

If your mind's held captive by this too

If your heart is feeling mine blue

Because, for me, I really really need you

I never thought I would feel this way

I never knew that love is such a pain

I needed you then, I need you now, everyday

I don't mind going through this pain again

I love you and I need you tonight

but do you need me and love me, too?

I don't know if you feel this is right

All I know is I love you and I need you

- M@t@Maya (© 08-04-2009)

49. IF I COULD

If I could spin threads of dreams

and weave a cloth of heavens

I would embroider pictures of the stars

and the moon singing angels‘ songs

I would present it to you

To shroud it upon your shoulders

To keep you safe and warm

To shield you from all harm

If I could build a bridge of love

Of cotton candies and rainbow beads

I would build it for you to cross

Over to reach me so that you heal

My longing heart and bring me joy

And in return I make you the happiest

Man in the whole world and galaxy

And I'll be yours until eternity

If I could undo this brocade of life

I would first of all free myself

From all that's tying me down

And I would set myself free

So that I can fly away on eagle's wing

And reach up to the highest heaven

Tied up to you by silver string

Never alone again; free from this longing

If I could return to the beginning of time

And re-write the story of love

I would begin with just me and you

Living the first days in paradise

Listening to the angels' harp

Enjoying every moment living wise

Then I would not have to choose

Between what is good and what to lose

But this is only 'If'.....

And if only things were different then…..

- M@t@Maya (© 03-04-2009)

48. WILL YOU?

Will you leave me

with a broken heart

now that I love

You with all of me?

Will you go away

and leave me

to wipe my tears

when I've given my all?

Will you forget me

once you find

success and fame

and I would just die?

Will you stop

calling my name

when you've found

a new love?

Will you no longer

dream of being

with me when

you're awake?

If you will

Then let me go now

when I can still

love you somehow

- M@t@Maya (© 31-03-2009)

47. I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

If you don't walk away from me now

Would you be willing to accept me through

And be prepared to be loved by me somehow

because I could fall in love with you

If you don't want to share your life

with me, then you should let me leave you

and be on my way to live my life

because I could fall in love with you

If you don't find any peace within your heart

each time you are with me and I am loving you

You should tell me to stay away from you

because I could fall in love with you

If you don't care for me more than ever

then you should close the door to your heart

and let me stay on the outside

because I could fall in love with you

But if you find in your heart enough love

to share with me till our lives are through

then take me close to you and let me prove

to you that I am falling in love with you

- M@t@Maya (© 08-04-2009)

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

46. YOU AND ME - AN IMPOSSIBILITY

As long as the Sun still rises in the east

As long as the fishes do not fly in the sky

As long as the Moon still stay in orbit

You and Me will forever be an impossibility

As long as the matchstick doesn’t burn water

As long as the waves still comes from the sea

As long as the World hasn’t stop revolving

You and Me will forever be an impossibility

- M@t@Maya (© 28-05-2010)

45. A ROSE

Here’s the Rose Of My Heart

I present to you my love

Promise me you’ll take care

That you’ll cherish and love

Here’s the Rose Of My Mind

I send to you my dearest

Promise me you’ll hold it

That you’ll be mine always

Here’s the Rose of My Body

I permit you to have and hold

Promise me you’ll be true

Loving me until we grow old

Here’s the Rose of My Soul

I grow in your Garden of Love

Guard it like you care for gold

For I am yours, no one above.

- M@t@Maya (© 01-05-2010)

44. LIKE A BIRD IN A CAGE

I am like bird in a cage

Feeling the breeze kissing my brow

Watching the Sun chasing the Moon

Hearing the waves crushing the shore

I am like trophy on the shelf

Admired and adored but there I stay

Till the dusts do come

Then they hide me away

I am like an antique timepiece

Ticking away in some jewel box

So prized but locked away

No one could see the beautiful Me

Come and save me, set me Free….

- M@t@Maya (© 28-05-2010)

43. DON'T CRY ANYMORE (FOR CRISSIE)

Don’t cry any more, dry your tears

For he has long been gone with the winds

He has closed the door of your Heart

When he walked out on you, but you’ve

Got to let the Sun in and keep you warm

He’s not worth your golden tears, so let go

Someone else is waiting at your Heart’s Door

Say Goodbye to him forever and live your life

Like you’ve just been born and awaiting new Love

Dry your eyes and let them shine, and show

The World that you are Beautiful inside out

- M@t@Maya (© 28-05-2010)

42. TIMELESS

Somewhere in the garden of my heart

You and I are together embracing

love that is as old as time

For you are the one true love

Of mine, my Secret Love

In that garden I could have you

in my arms alone and I could

breathe my life and love

right into you for we share

more than just love

We share the world

share the life

For only in that garden

I can surrender myself to you

my heart, mind, body and soul

For I have not falter in my love

for you and I will hold you

close to my heart

until my arms have grown cold

You know that I love you

and care for you

until there is nothing left

and that my love for you

is TIMELESS......

- M@t@Maya (© 23-06-2009)

41. REQUIEM FOR LOVE

Taking a walk along the waterfront

Watching the moon glowing in the sky

Bringing a bagful of memories

Of those times you made me cry

I close me eyes and reach out for the winds

Holding my breath as I say my prayer

A requiem for a friendship that has died

For a love that's gone now and forever

In a wink of an eye I'm on the moon's bosom

Swinging gently against the breeze

Throwing away pieces of memories of you

Though reluctant I have to do this

For now I'm stepping into a new world

Over the threshold of love and commitment

To be the woman, no longer a girl

And honour a promise of love to a gentleman

I wish you luck, love and happiness

And hope you'll find a soul mate to marry

Who'll love you the way that I once did

When I had you in my heart, inside of me

I was found by a man who promises to love me

For a thousand reasons that mean everything

And his love for me transcends all boundaries

But well kept within a lovely golden ring

Goodbye My Love, Goodbye to your memory

Even though it hurts to lose myself

That once was you as you were once me

For the time has come for us to be free

If we should meet somewhere sometime

The choice is yours to greet me or not

You may get me completely out of your mind

Or you could remember me from time to time

- M@t@Maya (© 01-07-2009)

40. LOVING YOU IS SO PAINFUL

Loving you brings so much pain

The pain of not being able to kiss you

The pain of not being able to touch you

The pain of not being able to lay with you

The pain of not being able to put my arms around you

The pain of not being able to run my fingers through your hair....

Loving you brings so much tears

Tears of anger when you keep your silence

Tears of joy when you tell me that you love me

Tears of loneliness when I think of you not with me

Tears of frustration when you tell me to hang on there

Tears of hope for a dream that will probably never come true....

Loving you brings so much fear

Fear that I might lose control of my life

Fear that I would lose this sanity over you

Fear that I can no longer make this sacrifice

Fear that you might be not there any more for me

Fear that you finally choose to let me go...........

And because loving you is so painful

I think that 'Goodbye' is the only way to go

But even 'Goodbye' is so hard to bid

Because I simply love you so.....

So much.

- M@t@Maya (© 29-12-2008)

39. A ROSE FOR WALLY

If I could touch Wally's face with a single hair

Let it caress his gentle heart in wisp of air

I wonder if he'll feel the whispering breeze

from these lips with a single kiss

but who am I to tempt the man

who's only a dream

in a faraway land

For now all I can give

A Rose for Wally.

- M@t@Maya ♥ (© 18-03-2009))

38. FALLING HEARTS

If our hearts are made of gold

There would be no more heartbreak

Nor would there be wasted tears

Or forsaken love, and homes wrecked

If I had had many hearts in this life

They would have fallen like autumn leaves

Each time the wind of love would blow

One by one they fell causing great grieve

No wonder GOD gives us each one heart

With which to love, to hate and to forgive

And even when we are so far apart

In our hearts our loved ones forever live

I have this little heart inside of me

My treasure box, my sanctuary

Even when it dies my love will be

Living in yours for eternity

- M@t@Maya (© 16-03-2011)

37. EMPTY

Like a red rose,

I stood out in the crowd.

And like a rose,

I was beautiful.

Like a rose,

I beckoned.

Like a rose,

I was loved.

Like a rose in full bloom,

I was alluring.

Like a red red rose,

I was mysterious.

But like a single rose,

I was lonely.

And especially so,

because you weren't there.

And in the midst

of the fireworks

and noisy parade,

Doha was cold,

lonely and empty for me.

Cold.....

Lonely.....

and

Empty.....

Because

you weren't there.......

- M@t@Maya (© 19-12-2010)

36. A THOUSAND YEARS

If I could live a thousand years

A thousand years I’d live for you

In you I’d treasure all my dreams

Of velvet skies of azure blue

I’d make you smile each night and day

With words of love and promises true

I’d paint your name among the stars

And spray the skies with “I Love You”

We’d ride upon the comets’ tails

Blow our kisses on meteor showers

Stitch our hearts upon the gales

Pour our love on meadow flowers

We’d dance upon the northern light

The aurora show of magic blue

The rounded full moon shining bright

Bears witness of my love for you

God, I‘ve so much love to give

To him, the one who won my heart

I know I’d love him for as long as I live

Please, please don’t keep us apart.

- M@t@Maya (© 26-03-2009)

35. THIS CHILD DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE....

WHY? Oh why???

He had barely breathed the cool morning breeze

He had barely run in his neighbourhood

He had barely been able to speak all the words

He had barely discovered all the colors of the rainbow

He had barely met all his little cousins

He had barely known the name of his country

WHY? Oh why??

Why did he have to be the sacrifice for nothing?

Why did he have to bear the pain of war?

Why did he have to be the victim

Of men’s greed and insatiable desires?

Why did he have to DIE?

He didn’t have to die, if men had learned the lesson

Of greed, of deceit, of arrogance, of ignorance

WHY? Oh why??

This child didn’t have to die!!!

- M@t@Maya (© 25-01-2011)

34. A TROPHY ON THE PEDESTAL

You put me up on a pedestal

Like a newly won trophy I was adored

Then, like most trophies won of dreams

I was pushed away to the corner, bored

Like a trophy I was admired and loved

But like an old trophy I was then tucked away

Then in an old cupboard I was hidden

Awaiting the right time, the end to my stay

Life high up there can be painful and lonely

Hard to reach and easy to wreck and fall

Adored for elegance, deportment and beauty

Cursed for want of loving care…..that’s all

Oh! Stop putting me up on high

Enough of exalting me like I’m a goddess

I don’t need fancy words and sweet lies

Just be genuine, be real , be honest!!

Because….that’s all I want from you…..

- M@t@Maya (© 25-05-2011)

33. STOP!!

Stop telling me that you know how it feels

Stop telling me that you can understand

How many times have your heart been broken?

That you can tell me to stand up and be a man

It is MY heart that’s been crushed and trashed

All you know is how to talk, how to pretend

Do I look like I need your lies and false sympathy?

Just go away and leave me to my very own end!

- M@t@Maya (© 25-06-2011)

32. THREE HEARTS

Hearts....one, two and three

Belong to him, to you and to me

One heart swayed, fell and crashed

All dreams now are doomed and dashed

Three hearts beat….mine, his and yours

One heart taken from love’s cozy throne

Only to be thrown, trashed and crushed

Broken in pieces upon the hard stone

One is lonely, but three is a crowd

Hearts can never thrive in threes

His, yours and mine, whose will it be

The one that’ll break away and be free

- M@t@Maya (© 25-05-2011)

31. TOO MUCH LOVE

There is just no way to win

Which ever way I go I lose

Too much love I have gotten

Please don’t make me choose

Life sometimes feels painful

Feels like I don’t belong

May be it’s GOD’s way

Of testing me to make me strong

Too much love I have given

I am drowned in my own love

Too much love I still need

Don’t know when it’ll be enough

- M@t@Maya (© 30-06-2010)

30. THE MOON AND THE FLOWER

My Love, I feel so lonely tonight

I feel like the flower looking at the Moon

I miss you desperately you'll never know

I only pray that we could meet very soon

My Love, in my world there's no one else

Just you and me and the whole wide sky

And the loneliness tonight brings me tears

And I just wish that I'm a bird so I could fly

My Love, to me your are the Moon

That shines your light to Earth below

You're so beautiful, you make me swoon

The more I look the more I love you so

My Love, how can we ever be together

You are the Moon, the light of the sky

I'm just a little lonesome flower

Waiting for some love to pass me by

My Love, how nice it would be if you need me

To brighten your day and warm your night

Come down oh my Moon and stay beside me

Cherish my bloom and hold me real tight

For now I can only look up at you

Until your light fade away

My Moon my love what can I do

I love you more and more with passing day

- M@t@Maya (© 30-03-2009)

29. I AM HERE AND YOU ARE THERE

I am here and you are there

I think about you every night and day

I feel like a man looking at the Moon

Please come to me – make it real soon

I am here and you are there

I wonder about you, what do you do

This painful longing I can barely bear

I just want to be close, right next to you

I am here and you are there

Why are you doing this to poor me?

I feel that it isn’t that fair

That I have to wait so eagerly

I am here and you are there

Please come to me, let me love you

I’m here and you should be with me

Let me love you and forever I shall be

- M@t@Maya (© 04-09-2010)

28. TWO SOULS

Feels as if we've known each other long

before time set about its course

Seems like it was eons ago

when the world was in its primordial youth

that there was YOU and there was ME

in shapeless forms our souls were free

Yes...there was you and there was me

in countless places wherever it be

We could feel the pull of the tide of love

that pulls us so powerful above

No man can stop these written words

That spell our destinies no matter what

Our souls are old, ancient as they are

They have passed all the tests of time

through various names, creeds and war

They met, separated, found each other again

through unnumbered days, and countless nights

Searching for each other in the silent deep

of the borderless universe and endless skies

Two souls that were born as one

separated by desires and needs there be

Two souls now born in a different world

Still kept apart by the distance and the sea

When will these two souls unite

To become one?

- M@t@Maya (© 28-03-2009)

27. THE RESPONSE

Dearest,I feel every pain that surges within you

I live every loneliness that lingers over you

I feel you're lost and out of place

Feel like an angel fallen out of grace

I feel your world stop spinning

I hear your heart stop beating

I feel your lips devoid of warmth

Your breath no longer coming

But your Sun didn't stop shining

It's only hidden by the clouds

Kneel no more my Sweetest Love

Come, fly away with me to our destiny

Listen carefully for the angels' harps

For Pan's flute and the singing dove

Let me feel your weakening pulse

For I shall not let you go

Nor shall I let you die

For in you I place my destiny

With you I place my life

Wake up My Love, feel my kiss

This is me you've waited for

From the universe I've come

To love you now and forever more

Live My Love, Live again

I'll plead to God to bring thee rain

And I shall flow over you, inside you

Breathe life into you

For I am your Sun as you are my Day

I will warm you even when all the stars burn away

- M@t@Maya ( © 27-03-2009)

26. WHY THE GOODBYE

‘GOODBYE’ is not just a word – it is THE word….

When one needs a fresh new beginning

When one gets worn out by the burden of a relationship gone sour

When a love story ends with too many tears and heartaches

When expectations and hopes are no longer looked forward to

When one sees the other as a thorn in the flesh

When every word spoken sparks heated quarrel

When the slightest touch of the skin feels repulsive

When waking up each morning is such a drudgery

When ‘Honey’, ‘Sweetheart’ and ‘Baby’ become ‘Damn you!’

This is the time when ‘GOODBYE’ has to be said; MUST be said

In order to save the remaining flicker of life in the two tired souls

‘GOODBYE’ my Dearest One, while I can still call you dearly…

- M@t@Maya (© 29-09-2010)

25. NO ONE KNOWS

No one knows

how empty

and hollow

that place

in my heart is,

since you decided

to stay away……….

No one can

guess the pain

that gnaws

deep within

the soul

that longs only

for your touch……….

- M@t@Maya (© 30-10-2010)

24. YOU ARE MY HEART

Here’s my heart, I give to you

Keep it safe inside your hand

Hold it long, faithful and true

As long as men walk on this land

A heart that beats for you only

Nights and days, months and years

For I shall love you and you only

With you I have no fear, nor tears

Because you are my heart…………….Y

- M@t@Maya (© 31-10-2010)

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

23. THE WORLD OF BROKEN MEN AND WOMEN

As I walked along the beach in my mind once more

Old thoughts and memories came back to haunt me

The familiar heartache felt too painful to bear

The sense of hopelessness bore down on my knees

I hate this familiar world in which I once lived

When my heart was wrecked in a storm of broken vows

It was a world where the sky mourned in deep violet

And the rippling sea yielded its emerald jealousy

This was a world where I felt the air was thick

With salty tears from broken hearted people

Crying their eyes out till their tears run dry

Where the sandy beach was blushing with anger

At those heartless folks who had wounded people

Like me, who had given up everything we had

For the love of someone we thought would stay by us

Till the days are out numbered by eternity

This was a world of complete silence and loneliness

A world where broken vows and broken dreams replaced

The leaves and the flowers, the fleeting butterflies

A world where the sun sets in the east and two moons

Chased each other across the deep violet skies

This is the world of broken men and broken women

Who had been cheated and mistreated by those

Who came along or just passing by to peddle their

Hearts upon their sleeves.............

22. GO!

You came and took my heart with you

Months later, you broke it in two

You came back and begged to have it once more

But, alas, things weren’t like they were before

Did you think you have the sole right to hurt

To crush and trample my heart on the dirt?

You think you could walk in and out of my life

Like I’m some dumb and desperate wife?

I don’t need your insults and pretense

I don’t want your arrogance and absence

I don’t worship the ground that you walk

Nor do I admire your stupid nonsensical talk

Go!! Stay away from me or just disappear

I don’t want to see you anywhere near

I loathe the very sight of you

I wish I had never ever knew

21. SOMETIMES I WISH

Touching you, reaching out to you

Holding on to you, hugging you

Watching you, teasing you

Seducing you, tasting

you are all that I

so wanna do

Listening to you and hearing you

Caring for you, grooming you

Believing in you and being

with you, comfort you

Telling you that I

love you so

This is my wish, my only wish

And if I could have just

one moment of this

life time to be

with you, I

am done

20. SET MY HEART FREE

Set my heart free if you no longer love me

and let me fly away to a distant place

where I will not see you and remember you

so that you can begin your life anew.

Set my mind free if you no longer need me

and let me spend the rest of my days

thinking and reminiscing about good times

and heal my broken heart in so many ways.

Set my body free if you no longer desire me

and let me live my life the way I lived before

A life of quiescence free from you and grief

Now that you don't care for me anymore.

Set my spirit free if you no longer want me

by your side and let me wander in the space

as a free soul looking for a star to be my home

where I can wash away the memory of your face.

Set me free if you no longer love me.........

19. FOR BABY

Dear Baby (that's how I've always called you...)

I will always be your friend

To be there for you

In time of pain

In time of loneliness

In time of desperation

In time of fear

In time of anger

In time of tears

In time of laughter

In time of sleeplessness

In time of hunger

In time of hardship

In time of tiredness

I will always be your friend

To be there for you

To heal your broken heart

To heal your bruised ego

To cure your malady

To make right whatever is wrong

To pray for your well being

To wish for your happiness

To lend you shoulder to lean on

To provide you laps to lie upon

To give you strength to go on

To listen to your happy and sad words

To be everything you need me to be........

18. FIREFLY

A firefly fleeting nearby

Lighting the silent and cold night

Will-o-the-wisps elusive like a spy

Fireworks of the fairy folks they light

That’s what you are to me

A flickering light in my darkest night

A warm comfort in my solitude

A distance star forever bright

And like that star you’re out of reach

Like the moon with halo of gold

Like the firefly forever elusive

A jewel of the night, you’re never mine to hold

You are so far yet you are so near

So close to hear but too distant to touch

You will remain in my heart forever

I don’t just love you….I love you very much

17. IRRECONCILIBLE

YOU and ME
We’re
TOO different
We’re
beyond help
There’s just
No Way
No Hope
No More
We’re
completely
irreconcilable
We’re
FINISHED!

- M@t@Maya (© 17-01-2011)

16. SILENT CRY

Drop by drop

her tears fall

No color, no sound

In the dark empty room

A Heart broke

A Hope lost

A Dream died

For words remain words

Promises remain promises

And Love should

have been

beautiful

If only it had

been reciprocated

A SILENT CRY

followed

a silent sigh......

15. CANDLE OF LOVE

One beautiful day last spring

You lit up a candle of love

In the deepest chamber of my heart

Away from the breeze up above

A candle of love still burning bright

Bathing walls of glowing gold

My heart so content feeling so right

Warmed by your light so bright and bold

Please don’t blow off the flickering flame

Let it light up my longing heart

A candle of love in my darkest night

Since you decided to stay apart

A candle of love it brings me hope

Its light burns brighter than the sun

Just let me continue to have its flame

Until the day my life is done

14. ALONE AGAIN....

LOVE is so FRAGILE....

fragile as the snow flake that falls and gets caught upon a frozen leaf....

one touch, it's gone...

Love is as whimsical as the night breeze....

a soft and silent blow….

as silky thread falling upon a maiden's cheek...

Love was not meant to last for me....

just like a night of full moon....

gone as the sun rises...

Love was fickle....

just like a child presented with many candies....

keeps changing his mind about which one to take...

Love is like a dying swan that has been wounded upon it's chest....

so lost in the pain….

that it feels no fear of death...

LOVE comes…and LOVE goes....

and there you go, too, leaving me with a heart ….

that no longer believes in LOVE...

Alone again......

13. BENEATH THE GOLDEN SKIES OF KYOTO

That walk along among the maple trees

with red and golden leaves

shall be a memory of our love

that late September day