152. HARUSKAH?

(Credit & appreciation to the owner of this picture)

Haruskah aku dipermainkan

di hujung jejari mu

seperti patung wayang kulit

dikuasai Tok Dalang nya?

Haruskah engkau menguasai

hidup ku yang singkat ini

ibarat embun di hujung rumput

hilang tibanya suria di pinggir langit?

Haruskah?

- © M@t@Maya (01-09-2013)

151. BERSEMINYA CINTA DI KOTA AL-JIZAH

(Credit & appreciation to the owner of this picture)

Terlintas dalam fikiran ku

ketika engkau ucapkan kepada ku 

serangkai puisi indah dan syahdu

hatiku terpaut didahan rindu

Teringat ku senyuman manis mu

ketika kau membelai sebelah pipiku

di bawah rembulan bercahaya biru

airmata menitis kerana ku terharu

Termeterailah suatu janji

di antara dua insan yang berani

merentas lautan cinta yang suci

berjanji bersama sehidup mati

Di kota bersejarah Kota Al-Jizah

kau lafazkan cinta yang kian indah

membelai kalbu ku yang menjadi lemah

dan aku menyerah kalah

Bersaksikan tugu yang berkurun usianya

di bawah sinaran bulan purnama

berhadapan dengan piramid yang tua

kita seumpama pinang dibelah dua

Begitulah kisah sepasang insan

yang terpaut di dahan percintaan

dan berjanji hidup sering jalan

hingga ke akhir hayat berteman

- © M@t@Maya (08-08-2013)

150. TODAY IT RAINS IN MY HEART

(Specially for Gabriel - Rest in peace)

It has been years since we last met

when we were young and free

when life was simple

just you and me

Why hadn't we met at least one time

since that last day together

at the orchard cabin

on our own

Now I feel the pain of losing you my friend

the regrets of unspoken words

the time we should

have used

From now onwards, the rain will always be sad

because for me they are tears

the heaven cries

for you

They say that rain makes everything beautiful

but today the rain makes me cry

tears of sadness

of goodbye

I shall remember the sweet smile upon your lips

each time I cracked some funny jokes

about this crazy world

this crazy life

So now you rest in eternal peace my dearest friend

And though you have departed

our memories together

shall remain

And today, it rains in my heart

- © M@t@Maya 28 July 2013

149. PAPA

(Appreciation to the owner/artist of this picture)

Papa

Today I was lost

in my own thoughts and

I wished that you were near

to help me sort them out

and tell me what to do

or at least give me

a word

Papa

There are things

which only a father and

his daughter can share and

talk about without having

to worry about others

knowing or judging

simply

Papa

I long for those times 

when you held my hands 

when we came to crossroads

and led me confidently and

safely to the other side

like a little child

lost

Papa

If only time was ours

to catch and to hold and 

to keep and control I wouldn't

let you go and leave me

to walk the rest of 

this journey

alone

Papa

I am okay and I wish you

are around to share my happiness

or see the children grow and

see the world the way I do

For it is because of

what you made

me do

- © M@t@Maya 10 July 2013

148. CHILD.....

(Appreciation to Donald Zola, the painter of this beautiful painting)

My child,

wasn't it only yesterday that

I held you

to suckle at my breast

to satisfy your thirst?

My child,

wasn't it only yesterday

that I bathed you

and cleaned your tiny body

and washed your wisps of fine hair?

My child,

wasn't it yesterday that

I baked your first birthday cake

and placed some icing sugar

on your tiny nose?

Oh...how time has passed by

flying fast like an eagle

leaving me behind

clinging to dear moments

and not wanting to let go

Children,

now that you've grown

leaving this emptiness in me

like an empty nest

in silence

Children,

yours are now excitement

greeting new days

Mine, just this sadness

and loneliness

Children,

no matter where you are

those precious memories

and this undying love

will always be with me

- © M@t@Maya 24 May 2013

147. WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME

Have I become so insignificant in your life

that I seem to have ceased to exist

except when you are in need

of someone to do your

bidding such as to

clean your mess

or heat the

kitchen?

Have I become invisible to you that

you could just pass me by with no

hello or how have you been

except when you desire

to have your house

cleaned or else

when you're

hungry?

Have I become nothingness to you that

you could just say or do as you wish

without thinking of how I'd feel

when you talk about me and

my shortcomings as if I am

just the wind, no form

no breath that you

can feel?

My heart is screaming to be heard

My body is aching to be touched

My mind is reeling with anger

My soul is yearning to go

If you don't want me

around any more

Just give me

a sign

And I will go....

- © M@t@Maya 30 April 2013

146. A LONG WAIT

It must have been the longest wait

A wait that no clock can measure

A wait till the Twelfth of Never

My wait for you

You left without saying goodbye

No notes nor mails to read

But the traces you left

abound

Seems like yesterday that I heard

the sounds of your laughter

the footsteps you made

the sighs of relief

Yet you're not with me any more

You're no longer here by me

No more loving hugs

No more kisses

All that's left of you are memories

that keep filling my thoughts

and questions on why

it had to be you

If only I could rewind the scenes

If only I could re-live my life

I'd have lived it with you

like each day's the last

Wherever you are or wherever you may be

Don't take away these memories

They're all I have to keep

in this long long wait

- © M@t@Maya (04 April 2013)

145. NOTHING LASTS

We combed the meadows

ran across the fields of flowers

strolled upon the sandy beaches

jet set in the skies

walked along the river banks

Always together

So in love

in love

Then like lightning bolt strike

you were gone from my side

you vanished from my sight

and I was like a lost child

crying out for you

wanting you

to come

to me

Gone is my world with you

Gone is the sound of laughter

that used to ring in the air

for with you all is gone

and I'm still wondering

if it was just a dream

only a dream

a dream

Now I know that nothing lasts

I know that nothing stays

For all things are just

transient in nature

only here on Earth

and I shall never

believe again

in love

Love comes and goes like

the flowers we touched in the meadows

like the winds that blew through our hair

like the sands upon those beaches

like the pebbles in those rivers

like the light of the day

like the shadows

all gone away

 - © M@t@Maya 02 March 2013

144. WALK INTO THE EVENING SUN

Was it yesterday 

that you held my hands 

kissed them 

then laid them on your heart? 

Was it yesterday 

that you brushed my hair 

away from my face 

so that I could see you?

Yet why does it seem 

so long ago like some

ancient memories from 

some unknown time? 

Have I lost my sense of time 

or have I grown 

so dependent upon you 

even for my breath? 

Have I turned into this puppet 

of a person that

comes to life upon the movement 

of your fingers? 

Yet my mind dreams to fly 

and traverse the skies 

My soul yearns to break free 

and touch the stars 

And my heart wants 

to walk into the evening sun 

Where as my psyche 

tells me that I should stay

- © M@t@Maya 05 February 2013

143. THE RED BENCH IN THE PARK

You told me over the phone 

That you’d come and meet me 

Somewhere in the park 

Beneath that special tree 

I went there and I waited 

From seven in the morning until three 

Sitting on the red bench in the park

With an umbrella as my company 

Braving the cold winter wind

I kept waiting oh so patiently 

Your words kept ringing in my mind 

“Baby please be there for me” 

My tears then started falling 

And rolling down my cheeks 

My world came down crushing 

And everything seemed so bleak 

Everything seemed to fade 

Far away from my sight 

Maybe hidden by my tears 

Or enveloped by the night 

It was then I realised 

Something must have gone wrong 

You would never have made me 

Waited for you so long 

Now years had passed by 

But you're never forgotten 

You left without goodbye 

To be with God in heaven 

I just want you to know 

That the love you've given me

I will always treasure 

For eternity

- © M@t@Maya 07-12-2012

142. MUST I DIE? (A Foetus' Lament)

Must I die 

for your wanton behaviour 

and loose moral 

to cover your shame 

and false dignity? 

What have I done 

to become the sacrifice 

of a world going nuts 

where moral standard 

is a thing of the past? 

Where wanton sex 

are just for pleasures? 

Why have you given 

me such brief life 

only to vanquish 

the tiny spark of what 

could be the greatest 

man Earth ever known? 

Who gave you the right 

to bring me from nothingness 

yet only to yank me away 

from what could have been
 my LIFE! 

- © M@t@Maya 05-12-2012

141. MY LOVE, WHEN YOU LOVE ME

I felt you slowly lay me down

Upon the couch our love nest be

With patience and wonder in silent count

you stripped me of all my dignity

But I didn't care if it's just that

For you I'd do whatever I could

I wanted you to make me complete

To possess me and put me in your mood

I felt your touch upon my skin

as I lay my head down to sleep

Like butterfly wings fluttering in the wind

I felt my heart skipped a beat

I felt your breath upon my cheeks

Your warm lips brushing mine

I felt my knees getting so weak

I was drifting into sublime

I felt your fingers through my hair

Your kisses trailing down my throat

I just wanted you to always be there

To go on loving me till I drop

I felt your hands caressing my back

Sending tingles right to my heart

Your arms imprisoned me Oh...so strong

Like we've never ever been apart

I felt your body so close to mine

crushing my bones till I couldn't move

I felt your lips exploring mine

searching my mouth looking for love

I felt your heart beating strong

against my own racing so fast

I knew that you're where I belong

I knew then you're my future my past

The moment could only be likened

To the cosmic birth of a star

To the music in crescendo

To the waves crushing afar

Peaking up until the heaven

Soaring high like an eagle fly

You were me and I was you

We were one beneath the sky

The world, the universe was ours

When you loved me......

- M@t@Maya (© 29-03-2009) 

140. THE RESPONSE (TO ForeVer's POEM)

Dearest,

I feel every pain that surges within you

I live every loneliness that lingers over you

I feel you're lost and out of place

Feel like an angel fallen out of grace

I feel your world stop spinning

I hear your heart stop beating

I feel your lips devoid of warmth

Your breath no longer coming

But your Sun didn't stop shining

It's only hidden by the clouds

Kneel no more my Sweetest Love

Come, fly away with me to our destiny

Listen carefully for the angels' harps

For Pan's flute and the singing dove

Let me feel your weakening pulse

For I shall not let you go

Nor shall I let you die

For in you I place my destiny

With you I place my life

Wake up My Love, feel my kiss

This is me you've waited for

From the universe I've come

To love you now and forever more

Live My Love, Live again

I'll plead to God to bring thee rain

And I shall flow over you, inside you

Breathe life into you

For I am your Sun as you are my Day

I will warm you till all the stars burn away

- M@t@Maya (© 27-03-2009)

139. NOT ANGRY WITH YOU

I’m not angry with you 

I’m just disappointed with you 

You, whom I’ve been counting on 

Yet you are the one who abandoned me 

I don’t regret knowing you 

I don’t wish anything any more too 

You, whom I’ve loved so much these years 

Yet you are the one who threw my love away 

I didn’t mean to hurt you 

I didn’t want to be bullied by you 

You, whom I’ve trusted with all my heart 

Yet you are the one who tore my life to pieces 

And now I’m glad that I’m free 

I’m glad to stop you from using me 

From now you will realize that you will be 

Your own angry opponent and greatest enemy 

- M@t@Maya (© 20-11-2012)

138. SILENT TEARS

They thought it was lightning 

Streaking across the night sky 

Then a thundering blast shattered the silence 

Women and children scampering by 

Cries of fear and pain filled the still air 

Men looking for lost families 

Houses and dwelling turned to rubble 

What should have been dinner time 

Turned to time of untimely deaths 

No matter how loud they screamed 

No amount of their tears could stop 

The cruelty, the atrocities of Man 

And Mother Earth could only watch 

In silent tears……. 

- M@t@Maya (© 18-11-2012)

137. IF ONLY I KNEW

If only I knew that one day I would meet you

I would have pleaded with Him to let me stay

A while longer in Paradise before sending me

Down to Earth and start my lifetime before yours

If only I knew how to turn back the hands of time

I would have just returned to my starting point

Just so that I could start all over again with you

To love and to live our lives till death do us part

If only I knew that one day such a gorgeous guy

Like you would be born on this borrowed world

I would have remained chaste and stayed alone

Until our paths eventually crossed and we would meet

If only I knew that even with all this we would still brave 

The rain and brave the storm of love, I would have just 

Not bothered with listening to reasons and rhymes 

Instead I would live and love you with all my heart, mind, body and soul......

If only, if only I knew then..........

- M@t@Maya (© 17-01-2009)

136. HOW DOES ONE TELL?

How does one tell the moon to stand still 

and wait for the sun so that their brilliance enchant the Milky Way?

How does one build a castle of sand upon a beach 

beaten by waves day after day?

How does one reach out for the stars 

and pluck them to brighten the darkest night?

How does one say goodbye to yesterday 

and say hello to tomorrow, when today remains a twilight?

How can we tell someone that some things cannot be changed, 

that the hands of time cannot be turned back?

How does one tell someone that love, 

though so sweet can be painful, and can bring a heartbreak? 

- M@t@Maya (© 17-03-2008)

135. GOOD MORNING FOR TOMORROW

GOODBYE was for YESTERDAY 

When I thought that it was time to let you go 

So you would not have to bear 

The burden of loving and caring for me 

HELLO is for TODAY 

When you told me again that I am yours 

That you'll never free me 

Not for moments, minutes or hours 

GOOD MORNING is for TOMORROW 

When you open your eyes to greet the sun 

I'm glad you didn't let me go 

Now I'm certain you're THE ONE.

- M@t@Maya (© 09-01-2009)

134. GOODBYE TOMORROW, HELLO YESTERDAY

To spare you the pain of letting go 

Here I offer you my hand 

For you to bid me GOODBYE 

For TOMORROW..... 

To spare you the pain of remembering 

Here I offer you your heart 

I am giving it back as a HELLO 

For YESTERDAY..... 

To spare you the pain of sorrow 

Here I offer you my last farewell 

For you to take with you as you leave me 

Finally TODAY........ 

- M@t@Maya (© 04-01-2009) 

133. YOU WILL BE....MY DEAREST

My Dearest,

You will be my friend for all time 

You will be my shadow during the day 

You will be my reflection during the night 

You will be my Sun during my darkest hour 

You will be my Moon in a starless night 

You will be my reverie when I am awake 

You will be my vivid dream when I sleep 

You will be my pillar of strength when I am weak 

You will be my comfort pillow when I am sad 

You will be shelter from the storm 

You will be my wings to fly 

You will be the kisses to my lips 

You will be the tears when I cry 

And most of all.........you will be my love for eternity 

- M@t@Maya (© 17-03-2009)

132. WINGS

Soon you will earn your 'Wings'

To fly across the deep blue sky.

Soon you will be free

To fulfil your dreams and be with me.

Soon you will learn the meaning of life

To fine your true love and a wife.

With your new found 'Wings'

You will find me;

You will span the ocean, cross the sea;

With your new found 'Wings'

You will reach my world

The magical land of your dream girl.

When you have found Me

Your 'Wings' will set me free.

Fly, My Love, fly to the sun

Take me along, have some fun.

Fly to my Land of The Long White Cloud

Fly your 'Wings', make me proud.

Across the ocean, over the sea

Fly, My Love, Fly over to Me.

- M@t@Maya (© 09-08-2008)

131. LAST NIGHT....

Last night while you were sleeping 

I pulled up the cover to make sure 

that you were always warm and comfortable....

Last night while you were sleeping 

I sat quietly and watched 

your eyes fluttering in dreams....

Last night while you were sleeping 

I kissed your forehead and told myself 

how lucky I was to have you by my side....

Last night while you were sleeping 

I brushed away the wisps of hair from your face 

and reminded myself how much I love you....

Last night while you were sleeping 

I listened to the soft sound of your calm breathing 

and I thanked God for the gift of you....

Last night as I sat watching you sleep 

I prayed to The Almighty to grant me this privilege 

of meeting you, knowing you, being with you 

and loving you until eternity

only then, could I lay myself beside you 

and close my eyes to sleep. 

Good night my love, 

let us rest our weary bodies and tired mind....

- M@t@Maya (© 20-10-2010)

130. JE T'AIME....A JOURNEY OF NO RETURN

Close your eyes and hold my hands 

I will guide you to the place 

Where birds sing in colours 

And the wind trails are angels' songs 

Where the sun sets in gold 

And the sea lay still as if in sleep 

Feel the cool autumn breeze 

Blowing jasmine scents in your hair 

You are going with me to my love nest 

Feel the winds beneath your wings 

The moistened clouds brushing your lips 

You are mine and I am yours in this 

Lost paradise of broken dreams and vows 

But we're going to fix it right 

With our love so sacred and pure 

Love that was born when time was nothing 

But which has thrived through all 

The calamities of this troubled Earth 

Such is our love upon which our souls 

Fly for eons over the distant stars 

My love for you is so deep and sacred 

A sheer curtain shrouding the Earth 

I know I've loved you long ago before time 

And I am loving you now, and I will love you 

Tomorrow, the day after, and forever more 

And no one will love you like this ever 

Close your eyes and just let me take you 

To that place where love doesn't die 

Where hearts don't break and where souls 

Are free....just follow me, Je t'aime 

For this is a one-way trip, my Heart 

This is a journey of no return.....

- M@t@Maya (© 31-03-2009)

129. FALLING

God, help me, I am falling

Falling so hard and so deep

I'm afraid I would crash

Out of control......

God, my heart is racing

Racing so fast and loud

I'm scared I would die

Before touching him....

God, my head is spinning

Till my eyes couldn't see

I'm so dizzy I would fall

Even more in love.....

God, give me your hand

Guide me on this journey

I'm scared I would lose

My way to him......

God, I wish he knows

Just how much I feel

How much I love him

Like I've never been....

God, I know You know

How much I wanna be

With him right now

I wish he's with me....

God, help me cos I'm falling

This time too far below

I can't return

To where I was before...

Help me, God, help me to cope

Help me to contain these feelings

Help me from falling further

For I must not be.......

- M@t@Maya (© 25-03-2009)

128. OUR LOVE

Our love….So natural 

Like the morning dew

So beautiful 

Like a coloured glass bead 

So fragile 

Like a tiny crystal ball 

So transient 

Like the wind 

So hard to hold on to

Like a dream 

So brief 

Like a wink of an eye 

Yet so hard to forget 

And so painful to remember……. 

- M@t@Maya © 26-09-2012

127. DON'T TELL ME!!

For someone who imagines he can OWN me.....

Hey! You! 

Don't you ever tell me what to do any more

for I am tired of you trying to run every show for me

I am not an invalid and as for now I am still capable

Of running MY LIFE the way I WANT to and HOW it pleases me

Stop acting as if you know everything in this and my world

You know nothing about me and where I come from 

and much more I am not used to being controlled, 

being 'managed', being told

I have been managing me, deciding for me, 

doing what pleases me since I was capable of doing so, 

so PLEASE be reminded that I am ME.

Let me just tell you that I don't like to be constrained

That I love freedom and I will choose what I want to do and who 

I would like to be by my side in my quest for a better tomorrow 

Don't restrain me for you will only suffocate me 

and leave me with no choice but to push you away from me 

so I have my own space and privacy

Stop what you are doing and live your life your own way 

and leave me alone to chart the rest of my journey to my destiny, 

for I don't want you to tell me what to do

as I have enough of you and I want you to find your own destiny

I am who I am, I don't want to be changed by anyone

I will change because of ME alone. 

Get it?? 

- M@t@Maya (© 01-09-2008)

126. DO YOU KNOW?

Do you know how difficult it is

for me to love you while trying to remain sane?

Do you know how painful it is 

for me to please you while compromising my principles?

Do you know how heavy it is

for me to carry the burden of guilt just to be with you?

Do you know how tiresome it is

for me to keep up with your desires and temper tantrums?

Do you know how tempting it is

for me to just leave the comfort of my world for your arms?

Do you know how surprising it is

for someone like me to fall for you and your so ordinary life?

Do you know how hard it is

for me to convince myself that I can live my life without you?

Do you know how easy it is

for me to become so angry at you for always taking me for granted?

Do you know how often it is

for me to just think of letting go of this tiring, demanding relationship?

Do you know how frustrating it is

for me to continue sacrificing my patience, 

my sanity and most of all, my life?

Just for the sake of YOUR LOVE....if that is what this is all about!

I don't think you know even for the slightest moment......

- M@t@Maya (© 04-01-2009)

125. COLOURS OF LOVE

I heard the sound of your voice

and saw words tumbling out in colours

of a rainbow crossing the skies 

soon after a sunny showers 

Was it a dream or was it for real

that husky voice speaking of love

Oh God, I can't understand what I feel

Is this thy blessings from above? 

How can someone loves so much

Can a heart bear all the passion

that I have for you and you for me

Is this a figment of my imagination? 

How beautiful a love can be

Blue is the colour when you're away

Yellow is the colour of your smiles

Red is our love for each other everyday 

God, please don't take away

the beautiful colours of my life...... 

- M@t@Maya (© 26-03-2009)

124. YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE UNINVITED

You came into my life like a flash of lightning 

So fast, so sharp, so hot, so intense with love 

Then, like a flame extinguished by pouring rain 

You vanished into ashes disappearing from above 

You came into my heart like a thief in a quiet night 

And steal away all that is there in my heart's content

Then, like a thief you slipped away with all of me 

Never to be heard again................ 

You came into my mind like a cancerous growth 

That slowly invaded every cell of my memory 

Then, like fire burning upon a piece of wood 

You left glowing amber that burns deep inside of me 

You came into my life uninvited like a fly so loathed 

So hated, yet you pushed your way into my space 

And shook my cosy little nest with your promises 

Which are now but lies upon lies that have become waste 

I HATE every inch of you for your lies and empty promises 

For wrecking my trust in thee and for hurting me 

I HATE you with all my heart for as long as I shall live

You.........I shall never ever forgive.......................... 

-- M@t@Maya (© 28-02-2009)

123. JUST ME

Why did you look for me? 

Why are you still looking for me? 

For I have nothing but just me 

No wealth, not title nor rank 

Just a person in this ailing society 

I possess no land, nor any property 

No strings of credentials 

from prestigious academy. 

I have nothing to offer to those 

looking for worldly pleasures 

I believe in simplicity and honesty 

I have no money nor fancy cars 

No boats to sail nor jet planes to fly 

What I have I share with the world 

God-given nature, the sea and sky 

For I...

have only me…..

Just me. 

- M@t@maya (© 17-09-2012)

122. THE TONGUE

Trust not the TONGUE…..

It can promise you the World 

So can it break you apart 

It can promise you LOVE eternal 

Then break your tender HEART

- M@t@Maya ( © 05-10-2010)

121. BEAUTIFUL DREAM, PAINFUL REALITY

Watching you from afar

sets my heart afire

for no one knows 

how much I love you.

Pretending to be only 

friends with you

telling you how I love

watching you grow.

Pretending to be proud

to see you explore

the world of love

with your young heart.

How I wish you know

how my heart yearns 

to let you in and 

sit upon it's throne.

If only you know 

how many lonely nights

I spent thinking and dreaming

to be with you.

But we both know that 

this shall and can only

be a beautiful dream

but painful reality.

- M@t@Maya ( © 25-08-2012)

120. MEMORIES

The flowers are in full bloom...

colouring the meadows into a carpet....

The birds dance in mid-flight 

and the butterflies fleet in and out of their flowers 

and at night the fireflies light up their neons......

but that was YESTERDAY'S, 

when we were youths and now we have grown.....

So dies the youth in each and everyone of us....

and in its place is what we call 

MEMORIES....

- M@t@Maya (© 09-09-2009)

119. KYOTO LOVE

Kyoto......

my heart was there for a time...

for it never really left....

and now when I close my eyes, 

my soul and my spirit fly 

upon the silent winds just to be there again...

to walk beneath Kyoto skies...

and listen to the birds in the bamboo groves...

Oh how I long to return to the love of my heart...

and there he still awaits me....

- M@t@Maya (© 05-09-2009)

118. BOUNDLESS LOVE

Together forever

 through thick and thin

Love like no other

No beginning no end

That dwells in each

And every breath

That goes beyond

The bounds of death

- M@t@Maya (© 31-07-2012)

117. ALWAYS IN MY HEART

Encased in a silver box

encrusted with love crystal,

securely tucked in the secret corner

of the fourth chamber

within the stronghold

of my beating heart....

There you stay forever and ever

Until the oceans run dry

Until the birds cease to fly

Until the stars burn away

Until the night no longer change to day....

There you shall stay for eternity.

For you are mine and mine alone

For you were, you are

and you shall

ALWAYS IN MY HEART!

- M@t@Maya (© 19-04-2010)