FLUID FANTASY - POEMS OF MATAMAYA

Friday, 14 February 2014

158. MY BLUE VALENTINE'S DAY

(Credits and appreciation to the owner of this picture)

Today's got to be the bluest day for me
A day when lovers exchange their promises and love
Of red roses, chocolates, cupcakes and candy
Of requests for blessings from God above

Where ever I go RED colors the walls and places
Roses blooms line the five-foot way
Beauties in red stiletto heels and dresses
But for me it's just BLUE and dismay

Have I become a face of a mere stranger?
Have I become an object of yesterday?
Have I become a thing of history?
This cold, sad and blue Valentine's Day!

This Valentine Day is a time of reckoning
I learned the pain of being unappreciated
The humiliation of being forgotten
And of presence no longer wanted

With today's Blue Valentine Day I vow
To no longer wait or expect from another
To no longer be taken for granted
For there's no such thing as 'forever'

Have a BLUE Valentine's Day!

- © M@t@Maya, 14 February 2014

Friday, 7 February 2014

157. PUTERI MU

(Credits and appreciation to the owner of this picture)

Suatu ketika dahulu

akulah Puterimu

yang kau manjakan

dengan kasih nan ayu

Akulah mahkotamu

yang kau letakkan

di atas kepalamu

Akulah permata hatimu

yang kau genggam

bagitu teguh

Akulah bintangmu

yang menerangi

malam gelapmu

Akulah Sang Suriamu

yang memancar

memanaskan duniamu

Tetapi sekarang

aku hanya patung

yang bernyawa

mengikut putaran masa

Aku hanya insan

biasa yang merana

ketandusan nasib

dirundung malang

Bagaikan negara

hilang rajanya

Bagaikan kapal

hilang nakhodanya

Bagaikan malam

gelap tampa cahaya

Aku hanya cangkerang

yang kehilangan maya

setelah engkau pergi

tampa kata-kata

Thursday, 16 January 2014

156. YOU PICKED UP MY HEART

(Credits and appreciation to the owner of this picture
Written on behalf of Nella))

Darkness loomed

over my head

and air seemed

to have thinned down

and the walls seemed

to close upon me

life slowly withdrew

from my body

I needed support

to lean on

I needed light

to get through

I needed words

as comfort

I needed love

I needed you

When I had given

all of my trust

and almost all

of my life to him

he walked away

and left me to die

to mourn his loss

in such grim

Then you came by

like a faint breeze

blowing sense into

my tired mind

and you picked up

the pieces of

my broken heart

and made it whole

Now you're also gone

leaving me broken

like I was before

but even worse

because I thought

you'd stay a little

longer if not

forever

And here I am

nursing a broken heart

and a wretched soul

dragging myself to

continue my journey of life

and to cherish your gift

of a beauitful child -

your son

Friday, 4 October 2013

155. IF THE TEARS

(Credits and appreciation to the owner of this picture)

the tears I've shed

for the children of Syria

had been kept

by now they would

have drowned

the tears I've shed

for the children of Iraq

had been left to flow

by now they would

have soaked

the earth

the tears I've shed

for the children of Africa

had been rivers of gold

by now all children

need not suffer

poverty

the tears I've shed

for the children of the world

had been able to heal

by now all children

of the world

are well

But

My tears are just tears

shed out of empathy and sympathy

shed out of frustration and pain

shed out of love and care

for the world and

for humanity

Alas!

I hope my tears are not in vain

I hope that God in heaven feels my pain

I hope that He hears my plea

I hope that He cares to answer me

I hope that He will soon end

the pain of this world and of the children

Thursday, 3 October 2013

154. CHILDREN - WHAT DO THEY DIE FOR? WHY???

(Credits and appreciation to the owner of this pictures)

Children.....

Shouldn't they be running

amongst flowers in meadows

or tugging the leashes of their doggies

or drawing cartoons on their sketch pads

or licking ice creams on a hot day?

Children....

Shouldn't they be held close

to the bosoms of their mums and dads

or just watching Sesame Street on TV screens

or making faces with each other in their kindy classes

or riding their neon-colored mini bikes?

Children....

Why do we adults bring them forth

to the world they never ask for

yet only to live lives

of sheer pain and

brevity?

Children....

Aren't they supposed to be gifts from God?

Yet they've become the pawns in adults' games

they're the price of adults' wars

and they live in pain

and die in vain

Adults!!!

Open your eyes and look at them

See those tiny bloodied faces

Hear their whimpering cries

Touch their skinny limbs

and watch they die

Adults!!!

Stop that greed! Cease the wars!

Do you think you can own this world forever?

No! Not even the children will

Because of you adults they

the children die

Why???

What do they die for???

Monday, 2 September 2013

153. BROKEN

(Credit & appreciation to the owner of this picture)

The sky is your roof

The ground is your bed

Each day a laboured one

Each night in cold sweat

That once manly body

now haggard and weary

And that brawny skin

now covered with dirt

Yet in that peaceful slumber

I see no hatred

I see no anger just pain

and may be regret

Your heart must have been

Broken a hundred times

Your tears must have frozen

Or they have just run dry

What might be the reason

for such great suffering?

Why have life been so cruel?

Was it her or was it you?

How many would care to know

How many bother to see

the pain that you bear

in such adversity?

If I know where you are

I would ask how might I help

May be share my lunches

or have my dinners instead

To God in heaven I can only pray

to ease your burden each passing day

To grant you mercy and forgiveness

To guide you again and show you the way

Sunday, 1 September 2013

152. HARUSKAH?

(Credit & appreciation to the owner of this picture)

Haruskah aku dipermainkan

di hujung jejari mu

seperti patung wayang kulit

dikuasai Tok Dalang nya?

Haruskah engkau menguasai

hidup ku yang singkat ini

ibarat embun di hujung rumput

hilang tibanya suria di pinggir langit?

Haruskah?

Thursday, 8 August 2013

151. BERSEMINYA CINTA DI KOTA AL-JIZAH

(Credit & appreciation to the owner of this picture)

Terlintas dalam fikiran ku

ketika engkau ucapkan kepada ku

serangkai puisi indah dan syahdu

hatiku terpaut didahan rindu

Teringat ku senyuman manis mu

ketika kau membelai sebelah pipiku

di bawah rembulan bercahaya biru

airmata menitis kerana ku terharu

Termeterailah suatu janji

di antara dua insan yang berani

merentas lautan cinta yang suci

berjanji bersama sehidup mati

Di kota bersejarah Kota Al-Jizah

kau lafazkan cinta yang kian indah

membelai kalbu ku yang menjadi lemah

dan aku menyerah kalah

Bersaksikan tugu yang berkurun usianya

di bawah sinaran bulan purnama

berhadapan dengan piramid yang tua

kita seumpama pinang dibelah dua

Begitulah kisah sepasang insan

yang terpaut di dahan percintaan

dan berjanji hidup sering jalan

hingga ke akhir hayat berteman

Sunday, 28 July 2013

150. TODAY IT RAINS IN MY HEART

(Specially for Gabriel - Rest in peace)

It has been years since we last met

when we were young and free

when life was simple

just you and me

Why hadn't we met at least one time

since that last day together

at the orchard cabin

on our own

Now I feel the pain of losing you my friend

the regrets of unspoken words

the time we should

have used

From now onwards, the rain will always be sad

because for me they are tears

the heaven cries

for you

They say that rain makes everything beautiful

but today the rain makes me cry

tears of sadness

of goodbye

I shall remember the sweet smile upon your lips

each time I cracked some funny jokes

about this crazy world

this crazy life

So now you rest in eternal peace my dearest friend

And though you have departed

our memories together

shall remain

And today, it rains in my heart

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

149. PAPA

(Appreciation to the owner/artist of this picture)

Papa

Today I was lost

in my own thoughts and

I wished that you were near

to help me sort them out

and tell me what to do

or at least give me

a word

Papa

There are things

which only a father and

his daughter can share and

talk about without having

to worry about others

knowing or judging

simply

Papa

I long for those times

when you held my hands

when we came to crossroads

and led me confidently and

safely to the other side

like a little child

lost

Papa

If only time was ours

to catch and to hold and

to keep and control I wouldn't

let you go and leave me

to walk the rest of

this journey

alone

Papa

I am okay and I wish you

are around to share my happiness

or see the children grow and

see the world the way I do

For it is because of

what you made

me do

Friday, 24 May 2013

148. CHILD.....

(Appreciation to Donald Zola, the painter of this beautiful painting)

My child,

wasn't it only yesterday that

I held you

to suckle at my breast

to satisfy your thirst?

My child,

wasn't it only yesterday

that I bathed you

and cleaned your tiny body

and washed your wisps of fine hair?

My child,

wasn't it yesterday that

I baked your first birthday cake

and placed some icing sugar

on your tiny nose?

Oh...how time has passed by

flying fast like an eagle

leaving me behind

clinging to dear moments

and not wanting to let go

Children,

now that you've grown

leaving this emptiness in me

like an empty nest

in silence

Children,

yours are now excitement

greeting new days

Mine, just this sadness

and loneliness

Children,

no matter where you are

those precious memories

and this undying love

will always be with me

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

147. WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME

Have I become so insignificant in your life

that I seem to have ceased to exist

except when you are in need

of someone to do your

bidding such as to

clean your mess

or heat the

kitchen?

Have I become invisible to you that

you could just pass me by with no

hello or how have you been

except when you desire

to have your house

cleaned or else

when you're

hungry?

Have I become nothingness to you that

you could just say or do as you wish

without thinking of how I'd feel

when you talk about me and

my shortcomings as if I am

just the wind, no form

no breath that you

can feel?

My heart is screaming to be heard

My body is aching to be touched

My mind is reeling with anger

My soul is yearning to go

If you don't want me

around any more

Just give me

a sign

And I will go....

Thursday, 4 April 2013

146. A LONG WAIT

It must have been the longest wait

A wait that no clock can measure

A wait till the Twelfth of Never

My wait for you

You left without saying goodbye

No notes nor mails to read

But the traces you left

abound

Seems like yesterday that I heard

the sounds of your laughter

the footsteps you made

the sighs of relief

Yet you're not with me any more

You're no longer here by me

No more loving hugs

No more kisses

All that's left of you are memories

that keep filling my thoughts

and questions on why

it had to be you

If only I could rewind the scenes

If only I could re-live my life

I'd have lived it with you

like each day's the last

Wherever you are or wherever you may be

Don't take away these memories

They're all I have to keep

in this long long wait

Saturday, 2 March 2013

145. NOTHING LASTS

We combed the meadows

ran across the fields of flowers

strolled upon the sandy beaches

jet set in the skies

walked along the river banks

Always together

So in love

in love

Then like lightning bolt strike

you were gone from my side

you vanished from my sight

and I was like a lost child

crying out for you

wanting you

to come

to me

Gone is my world with you

Gone is the sound of laughter

that used to ring in the air

for with you all is gone

and I'm still wondering

if it was just a dream

only a dream

a dream

Now I know that nothing lasts

I know that nothing stays

For all things are just

transient in nature

only here on Earth

and I shall never

believe again

in love

Love comes and goes like

the flowers we touched in the meadows

like the winds that blew through our hair

like the sands upon those beaches

like the pebbles in those rivers

like the light of the day

like the shadows

all gone away

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

144. WALK INTO THE EVENING SUN

Was it yesterday

that you held my hands

kissed them

then laid them on your heart?

Was it yesterday

that you brushed my hair

away from my face

so that I could see you?

Yet why does it seem

so long ago like some

ancient memories from

some unknown time?

Have I lost my sense of time

or have I grown

so dependent upon you

even for my breath?

Have I turned into this puppet

of a person that

comes to life upon the movement

of your fingers?

Yet my mind dreams to fly

and traverse the skies

My soul yearns to break free

and touch the stars

And my heart wants

to walk into the evening sun

Where as my psyche

tells me that I should stay

Friday, 7 December 2012

143. THE RED BENCH IN THE PARK

You told me over the phone

That you’d come and meet me

Somewhere in the park

Beneath that special tree

I went there and I waited

From seven in the morning until three

Sitting on the red bench in the park

With an umbrella as my company

Braving the cold winter wind

I kept waiting oh so patiently

Your words kept ringing in my mind

“Baby please be there for me”

My tears then started falling

And rolling down my cheeks

My world came down crushing

And everything seemed so bleak

Everything seemed to fade

Far away from my sight

Maybe hidden by my tears

Or enveloped by the night

It was then I realised

Something must have gone wrong

You would never have made me

Waited for you so long

Now years had passed by

But you're never forgotten

You left without goodbye

To be with God in heaven

I just want you to know

That the love you've given me

I will always treasure

For eternity

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

142. MUST I DIE? (A Foetus' Lament)

Must I die

for your wanton behaviour

and loose moral

to cover your shame

and false dignity?

What have I done

to become the sacrifice

of a world going nuts

where moral standard

is a thing of the past?

Where wanton sex

are just for pleasures?

Why have you given

me such brief life

only to vanquish

the tiny spark of what

could be the greatest

man Earth ever known?

Who gave you the right

to bring me from nothingness

yet only to yank me away

from what could have been
my LIFE!

141. MY LOVE, WHEN YOU LOVE ME

I felt you slowly lay me down

Upon the couch our love nest be

With patience and wonder in silent count

you stripped me of all my dignity

But I didn't care if it's just that

For you I'd do whatever I could

I wanted you to make me complete

To possess me and put me in your mood

I felt your touch upon my skin

as I lay my head down to sleep

Like butterfly wings fluttering in the wind

I felt my heart skipped a beat

I felt your breath upon my cheeks

Your warm lips brushing mine

I felt my knees getting so weak

I was drifting into sublime

I felt your fingers through my hair

Your kisses trailing down my throat

I just wanted you to always be there

To go on loving me till I drop

I felt your hands caressing my back

Sending tingles right to my heart

Your arms imprisoned me Oh...so strong

Like we've never ever been apart

I felt your body so close to mine

crushing my bones till I couldn't move

I felt your lips exploring mine

searching my mouth looking for love

I felt your heart beating strong

against my own racing so fast

I knew that you're where I belong

I knew then you're my future my past

The moment could only be likened

To the cosmic birth of a star

To the music in crescendo

To the waves crushing afar

Peaking up until the heaven

Soaring high like an eagle fly

You were me and I was you

We were one beneath the sky

The world, the universe was ours

When you loved me......

- M@t@Maya (© 29-03-2009)

Sunday, 2 December 2012

140. THE RESPONSE (TO ForeVer's POEM)

Dearest,

I feel every pain that surges within you

I live every loneliness that lingers over you

I feel you're lost and out of place

Feel like an angel fallen out of grace

I feel your world stop spinning

I hear your heart stop beating

I feel your lips devoid of warmth

Your breath no longer coming

But your Sun didn't stop shining

It's only hidden by the clouds

Kneel no more my Sweetest Love

Come, fly away with me to our destiny

Listen carefully for the angels' harps

For Pan's flute and the singing dove

Let me feel your weakening pulse

For I shall not let you go

Nor shall I let you die

For in you I place my destiny

With you I place my life

Wake up My Love, feel my kiss

This is me you've waited for

From the universe I've come

To love you now and forever more

Live My Love, Live again

I'll plead to God to bring thee rain

And I shall flow over you, inside you

Breathe life into you

For I am your Sun as you are my Day

I will warm you till all the stars burn away

- M@t@Maya (© 27-03-2009)

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

139. NOT ANGRY WITH YOU

I’m not angry with you

I’m just disappointed with you

You, whom I’ve been counting on

Yet you are the one who abandoned me

I don’t regret knowing you

I don’t wish anything any more too

You, whom I’ve loved so much these years

Yet you are the one who threw my love away

I didn’t mean to hurt you

I didn’t want to be bullied by you

You, whom I’ve trusted with all my heart

Yet you are the one who tore my life to pieces

And now I’m glad that I’m free

I’m glad to stop you from using me

From now you will realize that you will be

Your own angry opponent and greatest enemy

- M@t@Maya (© 20-11-2012)

Sunday, 18 November 2012

138. SILENT TEARS

They thought it was lightning

Streaking across the night sky

Then a thundering blast shattered the silence

Women and children scampering by

Cries of fear and pain filled the still air

Men looking for lost families

Houses and dwelling turned to rubble

What should have been dinner time

Turned to time of untimely deaths

No matter how loud they screamed

No amount of their tears could stop

The cruelty, the atrocities of Man

And Mother Earth could only watch

In silent tears…….

Sunday, 4 November 2012

137. IF ONLY I KNEW

If only I knew that one day I would meet you

I would have pleaded with Him to let me stay

A while longer in Paradise before sending me

Down to Earth and start my lifetime before yours

If only I knew how to turn back the hands of time

I would have just returned to my starting point

Just so that I could start all over again with you

To love and to live our lives till death do us part

If only I knew that one day such a gorgeous guy

Like you would be born on this borrowed world

I would have remained chaste and stayed alone

Until our paths eventually crossed and we would meet

If only I knew that even with all this we would still brave

The rain and brave the storm of love, I would have just

Not bothered with listening to reasons and rhymes

Instead I would live and love you with all my heart, mind, body and soul......

If only, if only I knew then..........

136. HOW DOES ONE TELL?

How does one tell the moon to stand still

and wait for the sun so that their brilliance enchant the Milky Way?

How does one build a castle of sand upon a beach

beaten by waves day after day?

How does one reach out for the stars

and pluck them to brighten the darkest night?

How does one say goodbye to yesterday

and say hello to tomorrow, when today remains a twilight?

How can we tell someone that some things cannot be changed,

that the hands of time cannot be turned back?

How does one tell someone that love,

though so sweet can be painful, and can bring a heartbreak?

135. GOOD MORNING FOR TOMORROW

GOODBYE was for YESTERDAY

When I thought that it was time to let you go

So you would not have to bear

The burden of loving and caring for me

HELLO is for TODAY

When you told me again that I am yours

That you'll never free me

Not for moments, minutes or hours

GOOD MORNING is for TOMORROW

When you open your eyes to greet the sun

I'm glad you didn't let me go

Now I'm certain you're THE ONE.

134. GOODBYE TOMORROW, HELLO YESTERDAY

To spare you the pain of letting go

Here I offer you my hand

For you to bid me GOODBYE

For TOMORROW.....

To spare you the pain of remembering

Here I offer you your heart

I am giving it back as a HELLO

For YESTERDAY.....

To spare you the pain of sorrow

Here I offer you my last farewell

For you to take with you as you leave me

Finally TODAY........

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

133. YOU WILL BE....MY DEAREST

My Dearest,

You will be my friend for all time

You will be my shadow during the day

You will be my reflection during the night

You will be my Sun during my darkest hour

You will be my Moon in a starless night

You will be my reverie when I am awake

You will be my vivid dream when I sleep

You will be my pillar of strength when I am weak

You will be my comfort pillow when I am sad

You will be shelter from the storm

You will be my wings to fly

You will be the kisses to my lips

You will be the tears when I cry

And most of all.........you will be my love for eternity

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

132. WINGS

Soon you will earn your 'Wings'

To fly across the deep blue sky.

Soon you will be free

To fulfil your dreams and be with me.

Soon you will learn the meaning of life

To fine your true love and a wife.

With your new found 'Wings'

You will find me;

You will span the ocean, cross the sea;

With your new found 'Wings'

You will reach my world

The magical land of your dream girl.

When you have found Me

Your 'Wings' will set me free.

Fly, My Love, fly to the sun

Take me along, have some fun.

Fly to my Land of The Long White Cloud

Fly your 'Wings', make me proud.

Across the ocean, over the sea

Fly, My Love, Fly over to Me.