127. DON'T TELL ME!!

For someone who imagines he can OWN me.....

Hey! You! 

Don't you ever tell me what to do any more

for I am tired of you trying to run every show for me

I am not an invalid and as for now I am still capable

Of running MY LIFE the way I WANT to and HOW it pleases me

Stop acting as if you know everything in this and my world

You know nothing about me and where I come from 

and much more I am not used to being controlled, 

being 'managed', being told

I have been managing me, deciding for me, 

doing what pleases me since I was capable of doing so, 

so PLEASE be reminded that I am ME.

Let me just tell you that I don't like to be constrained

That I love freedom and I will choose what I want to do and who 

I would like to be by my side in my quest for a better tomorrow 

Don't restrain me for you will only suffocate me 

and leave me with no choice but to push you away from me 

so I have my own space and privacy

Stop what you are doing and live your life your own way 

and leave me alone to chart the rest of my journey to my destiny, 

for I don't want you to tell me what to do

as I have enough of you and I want you to find your own destiny

I am who I am, I don't want to be changed by anyone

I will change because of ME alone. 

Get it?? 

- M@t@Maya (© 01-09-2008)

126. DO YOU KNOW?

Do you know how difficult it is

for me to love you while trying to remain sane?

Do you know how painful it is 

for me to please you while compromising my principles?

Do you know how heavy it is

for me to carry the burden of guilt just to be with you?

Do you know how tiresome it is

for me to keep up with your desires and temper tantrums?

Do you know how tempting it is

for me to just leave the comfort of my world for your arms?

Do you know how surprising it is

for someone like me to fall for you and your so ordinary life?

Do you know how hard it is

for me to convince myself that I can live my life without you?

Do you know how easy it is

for me to become so angry at you for always taking me for granted?

Do you know how often it is

for me to just think of letting go of this tiring, demanding relationship?

Do you know how frustrating it is

for me to continue sacrificing my patience, 

my sanity and most of all, my life?

Just for the sake of YOUR LOVE....if that is what this is all about!

I don't think you know even for the slightest moment......

- M@t@Maya (© 04-01-2009)

125. COLOURS OF LOVE

I heard the sound of your voice

and saw words tumbling out in colours

of a rainbow crossing the skies 

soon after a sunny showers 

Was it a dream or was it for real

that husky voice speaking of love

Oh God, I can't understand what I feel

Is this thy blessings from above? 

How can someone loves so much

Can a heart bear all the passion

that I have for you and you for me

Is this a figment of my imagination? 

How beautiful a love can be

Blue is the colour when you're away

Yellow is the colour of your smiles

Red is our love for each other everyday 

God, please don't take away

the beautiful colours of my life...... 

- M@t@Maya (© 26-03-2009)

124. YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE UNINVITED

You came into my life like a flash of lightning 

So fast, so sharp, so hot, so intense with love 

Then, like a flame extinguished by pouring rain 

You vanished into ashes disappearing from above 

You came into my heart like a thief in a quiet night 

And steal away all that is there in my heart's content

Then, like a thief you slipped away with all of me 

Never to be heard again................ 

You came into my mind like a cancerous growth 

That slowly invaded every cell of my memory 

Then, like fire burning upon a piece of wood 

You left glowing amber that burns deep inside of me 

You came into my life uninvited like a fly so loathed 

So hated, yet you pushed your way into my space 

And shook my cosy little nest with your promises 

Which are now but lies upon lies that have become waste 

I HATE every inch of you for your lies and empty promises 

For wrecking my trust in thee and for hurting me 

I HATE you with all my heart for as long as I shall live

You.........I shall never ever forgive.......................... 

-- M@t@Maya (© 28-02-2009)