87. IF I CAN

If I can have the magic wand

I would wave it three times

And make you a pair of wings

So you can fly to me tonight

If I can call out to the Unicorn

I would send him to you

And let you ride upon him

So he can carry you to me

If I can call upon the Wizard

from his lofty kingdom of OZ

I would beg him to chant his magic

And let it lure you to me

If I can convince the Mermaid

Witch under the deep ocean

To use her magic spell and then

Blow unto you her magic potion

But I am a mere human

A mortal with countless flaw

Possessing nothing worthy of pride

Only my boundless love I have for you

So I will never have you for me

Never will I caress your handsome face

It will only be in my dreams that I will see

Where you'll be mine with God's holy grace

- M@t@Maya (© 27-07-2009)

86. WHY???

Who could have guessed that

beneath that black executive suits

behind the Christian Dior shades

sitting quietly at the back seat

of a chauffeur driven black Mercedes

cruising along the beautiful corniche is

a body so weak, a heart barely beating

a mind so lost, a soul so distraught

Who would have thought that

within that porcelain white silky skin

underneath the auburn coloured hair

looking out over the high balcony

far out beyond the emerald coloured sea

is another grieving soul with

eyes all swollen from endless tears

dark circles a sign of sleepless nights

Why is this world so full of injustice?

Those that lied, cheated and stole

could walk so free to hurt more souls

While those that gave, trusted and loved

had to endure the pain of living

If indeed this life is predestined

Then I have lost all hope of loving

Because loving isn't worth it at all......

- M@t@Maya ( © 21-02-2010)

85. THE ROSE

"Je t'aime", I said to you with a single stalk of red rose

With that I sealed my promise to you

And you cared for my red rose like it was your beating heart

but I did you wrong

I kept you out of my life.....I pushed you away

And little did I realized that when I shut you out of my life 

I was cutting away a part of me too

And so died a red red rose

With a single whisper of 

"I Love You..."

- M@t@Maya (© 20-09-2009)

84. I WISH YOU KNOW

I wish you know how much I want to hold you

And lay my head upon your chest to listen to your heart

But I won't, for fear of not able to let you go

And instead become a burden to you.

I wish you know how much I want to touch you

And feel your skin next to mine and let it be

But I can't allow myself to do that for fear

That I would lose my mind over you, so I won't.

I wish you know how much I want to stay by you

And be a loving mate and wife to you

But I haven't got courage and faith in myself

And I will never ever break your heart and hurt you.

I wish you know that I have loved you from the moment

I lay my eyes upon you and felt my heart beating for you

But I can't let you know for fear that you'd turn me away

And that will hurt me for the rest of my days.

- M@t@Maya ( © 26-01-2009)

83. I AM....

I am in your first view of the morning's sun

I am in your tea cup as you sip it in your breakfast

I am in each face you meet on the way to work

I am in your PC's screen as you start off the day

I am in your wallet when you take out a note or two

I am in your favourite midday lunch break

I am in your shadow that follows you every where you go

I am in your nightly dreams and fantasies

Why am I always with you?

Because YOU put me there beside you, inside you, around you.....

Because I AM the ONE you choose to love............

- M@t@Maya ( © 20-08-2008)

82. I STAND HERE WAITING

I stand beneath the azure sky

Wishing her well, healthy and strong

To face each and every new day

For my heart with her now belongs

I stand before the emerald sea

wondering if she's thinking of me

Can she feel deep in her heart

Though we're so far apart?

Could the wind carry my words

And tell her that I am so lonely

That she is always in my prayers

Every moment every hour she's with me

I pray to God for her safety

With each and everything she makes

May God guide her, lead her to me

With each and every step she takes

I stand looking up at the silver moon

As night comes quietly by

And wish for her to come back soon

Stay by me till the oceans run dry

I promise her love everlasting

A love like no other that'll ever be

I'll give her my all, my everything

My heart, my soul, my mind, my psyche

I stand here waiting.........

- M@t@Maya (© 17-03-2009)

81. WHAT IS THAT I WON'T DO FOR YOU

I would walk upon a rainbow

and bring to you a pot of gold

To spread beneath your feet

For your heart, body and soul

I would spread the rainbow yarn

as a carpet where you would walk

As long as I can have your smile

of sweet jasmine as you talk

Then I'll paint the horizon

all the way to the zenith

Rainbow colors for sunset or dawn

Sparkling waters that lie beneath

That's how deep my love is for you

Wider than the whole universe

Higher than the Everest or Kathmandu

More meaningful than all promises

I'd bring to you all the silk

Enough to wrap the Earth ten times over

Bath your body with fragrant milk

Over your body I spread my hair as cover

For you are the Prince of my heart

You are my knight in shining armour

And only you can keep me from apart

My dream lover my sweet paramour

I shall wrap you with my rainbow shawl

Together we'll sail across the heaven

Spinning dreams, colorful fantasies

Making love morning, night, twenty four seven

- M@t@Maya ( © 13-06-2009)

80. END OF THE ROAD

Life itself is a journey

A trip where we get on board

A vessel traversing the years

Till we come to the end of the road

There are times in our lives

When everything seems to fail

When nothing seems to go right

When living is just horrible hell

Sometimes life is so hard to live

Road full of rocks and prickly thorns

So little to receive and more to give

A journey predestined before we're born

At times when there seems no where to go

One feels like ending this painful life

But our lives aren't ours to bargain for

But God's to help Him through this strife

Have you reach the end of your road

Or just at the crossroad to no where

Remember! The end is but a beginning

To a new life that's waiting over there!

- M@t@Maya ( © 11-06-2009)

79. A WALK IN THE RAIN

Today I walked in the rain

To hide my flowing tears

Tears of sadness and pain

Pain of a heart in fears

No matter where I stay

life is still the same

searching every single day

for true love, not a game

No one will ever know

how hollow this heart can be

devoid of warmth nothing to show

That's my life forever empty

Wash them, Oh dear rain

Wash my bitter tears away

Wash all this killing pain Even if it's just for a day

Where is he, my true eternal Love

Fill my heart and let me live

Take me away wherever you wish

I'm tired of just going adrift

Where is he my love's delight?

My hero, my princely cheers

Where is he my bravest knight?

Save me from this endless tears

Tell me God, where is he?

The one that will finally be mine

The one that you've chosen for me

To love forever, rain or shine

Where are you, tell me your name?

Who will love me deep and true

Heal this pain, rid of this shame

Show yourself 'coz I really need you

- M@t@Maya ( © 30-04-2009)

78. YOUR DISTANT STAR

I shall be your distant star

To guide you where ever you are

By night I am your guiding light

By day I'll shine as the sun so bright

Your distant star forever I'll be

Out of your reach you can only see

My light travels a billion years

To be your beacon from all the fears

I shall forever be where I am

As your landmark as your guiding lamp

As long as you know that I am here

You'll never lost your way, have no fear

Look up to the sky and you'll find me there

Forever twinkling like a firefly

I promise you I'll always care

Until my body's weary the day I'll die

I shall love you till the end of time

Till the suns and the stars all burnt away

Until the songs run out of rhyme

Till no man lives and nothing stay

Such is how great my love for you

It knows no bound, no wall, no creed

It even goes beyond the grave

You are the only one I'll ever need

- M@t@Maya (© 23-03-2009)

77. DREAMS

Dreams are plays 

acted on the stage of the mind 

that commence when the curtains of one's eyes are drawn.... 

Dreams are fleeting fantasies 

on the canvas of one's hope 

with colours so vivid like butterfly wings....

Keep on dreaming for dreams give us hope

and dreaming costs us nothing

takes no space, stops at no wall..... 

Don't stop dreaming 

even when your dreams haven't come true

for when one stops dreaming, one stops living.....

- M@t@Maya (© 19-11-2008)

76. A RAY OF HOPE

In my darkest hour the night was long

When fireflies hid and no cicada song

And the Moon refused to lend it’s light

That was the time I thought I had died

Not a single screech from the cricket heard

Nor the chirping of the nightingale bird

Not a slightest breath of the night breeze

Nor a brush of my lover’s kiss

Then came forth light, a ray from above

Breaking through the clouds like a search light

Bringing hope and bringing love

Breathing new life into the dead night

Suddenly the wind was blowing

The clouds began to clear away

I knew that was my new beginning

That God had given me another day

- M@t@Maya ( © 28-04-2010)

75. ONLY A DREAM

Let me forever be the light

At the end of your tunnel

Let me forever be the figment

Of your imagination

Let me forever be the shining star

That brightens your darkest night

Let me forever be Sun

That brightens your days

Let me forever be the Moon

That casts it’s light on the lake

Let me forever be honey on your lips

Let me forever be the wind

That whispers in your ears

Let me forever be the rain

That showers the parched earth

For I can only be the woman

Of your nightly dreams

And the rose that scents your

Lonely days……..as you are

In mine…..…..

- M@t@Maya (© 25-02-2010)

74. NOW......

Now, when I look back

I realize how I had loved you

Much less than I should have

When all you ever wanted

Was me, just me and me only

But I was too occupied

With senseless things

To even noticed how empty

Your long days had been

When I should have been there

To love you more than I had

And I was too vain to own

To my mistakes and my flaws

Instead I shut you out

Of my life and continued

With mine as if nothing

Had happened when in fact

We were both dying for

Each other’s touch and love

Now, all I could do is regret

And wish that I could turn back

The hands of time so that

I could love you MORE

Now, I am the one dying inside

- M@t@Maya (© 22-03-2010)

73. DANCING ON THE MOON

How long will it last

before we touch ground?

How long will it take

before we wake up?

I am now dreaming

We're dancing on the moon

Fancy foot works

A glide on the clouds

Soft angels music

Light gossamer shroud

Upon my shoulders

To shield me from cold

Your hand on my hip

My palm you do hold

Our bodies are swaying

in rhythmic dance

Our breath blend in tandem

A God given chance

I want it to go on

Don't stop it too soon

Let's dance till the dawn

On this silvery Moon....

Oh! I love you so

And that....you must know!

- M@t@Maya ( © 30-03-2009)

72. CUPID'S BOW

Your eyes pierce my very soul

Your smiles color all my days

Your words soothe all my pain

Your messages guide all my ways

Are you a stranger who's lost his way

Who's come by mistake into my dream

Or are you some lost soul gone astray

Looking for fun or a one night steam?

Why have you touched my heart so deep

Like we've been together all the eons

Is this thing we have now really for keeps

Or by tomorrow will it be gone?

Please don't tease my vulnerable heart

Stop fooling around my tired mind

Don't play with my troubled soul

Please be truthful, please be kind

Tell me now, who you are

That you've control my every move

I see your face just everywhere

I hear your voice I feel your love

I still don't know how we've met

Why our paths have crossed some how

Someone has orchestrated this move?

Or is it just an arrow from Cupid's Bow?

- M@t@Maya ( © 25-03-2009)

71. I'LL CARRY YOUR HEART

My Love, I'll carry your heart anywhere I go

So that I'll always remember you

My Love, I'll carry your smile in my darkest moment

To let you know that I love you too

My Dearest, I'll carry your love to the end of the world

And let it shroud me safe from harm and fear

My Dearest, I'll carry your kisses softly upon my lips

To remind me that you're always near

My Sweetheart, I'll carry your dreams upon my brows

And wish that every single one comes true

My Sweetheart, I'll carry your touch upon my breasts

And let my heart beats only for you

My Soul Mate, I'll carry your name next to mine

And show the world that we are done

My Soul Mate, I'll carry your body with so much love

And will carry your child in my body for now we are ONE

My Love, My Dearest, My Sweetheart, My Soul Mate

I promise that I will carry you in everything I do

Till death do us part, till we reach Heaven's Gate

For I shall tell God that I love no one else as much as I love you

- M@t@Maya (© 08-02-2009)

70. OUR LOVE

Like the dew drop clinging to a stalk of grass

in the early morning sun, a jewel of nature

made by God’s hand, like a tear drop

waiting to fall – such was our love

so pure and sacred, untouched

Yet, like the dew drop it was

not meant to last, gone

with the first sun ray

and never to

return

- M@t@Maya ( © 25-03-2010)

69. THE TURQUOISE GREEN DREAM

Forever you and I

How beautiful it would be

but we both know that

this will forever be a dream

where our hearts will find love

where our souls will meet

and our lives shall be one

Forever you and I

Is just a wishful thinking

playing fantasies

in the garden of our minds

Wishes we know will

always be in their youth

never to be lived and realized

Forever you and I

in a world of our own

where no one can take away

our dreams and our roles

A secret hideaway

in a land of

turquoise green dreams

where there's just you and I

- M@t@Maya ( © 25-04-2009)

68. IF HE LEAVES ME

My life now hangs by a silver thread

from a cliff of dreams and hope and love

If he leaves me then that thread will break

And I shall crash all the way from above

My days are now like a calendar on the wall

Numbered, marked and remembered one by one

If he decides to leave me now I will fall

My dreams, my hope and my breath all gone

I cannot dream or imagine or even think

My life without him it makes me wanna cry

If he leaves me I'm no one, I am nothing

My thread of life will break and I will die

That is

if he leaves me

- M@t@Maya ( © 30-03-2009)

67. FOOTPRINTS ON MY HEART

That fine day you walked along the beach of my heart

and left your footprints along the lonely shore

I didn't think someone would come away this far

I traced your footsteps to find out if there's more

The footprints now keep becoming closer and closer

like someone there's been staggering along

I wondered what he'd be like, what he was after

Whose footprints were these, to whom do they belong

Against the colors of the setting sun there stood

A figure, a silhouette of a man looking afar

So still, so quiet, so lonely and out of touch

Like his eyes were fixed on the distant stars

Why had he trodden upon my lonely beach

Did he know that with every step he trod

He would leave his footprints forever engraved

deeply on my broken heart, please help me God

No matter how hard the waves'd crash

Upon my lonely beach of gold

His footprints would not be washed

They'll forever stay in my soul

Now he's chosen to leave my lonely shores

and walk away with no care or memories

But does he know that my heart's been touched

when he took a walk along my lonely beach

His footprints will forever stay

on the shores of my saddened heart

they'll be reminders of that day

even when we've grown far apart

Thank you for passing along

the desolate beach of my soul

leaving your footprints in a song

of a silent heart, I gave my all....

- M@t@Maya ( © 15-04-2009)

66. WINTER EMOTION

Oh...how I hate the memory

of the cold winter days

and bittersweet winter nights

Those were the painful days

when my life was at its worst

when my heart bled with heartbreak

when my soul was searching for answers

when my body was wrecked with hunger

when my mind was spinning with questions

Oh...I still can't come to terms

with myself when I recall those

cruel winter days

when no one seemed to understand

and no one seemed to care

Those lonely winter nights

of wanderings lost in the dark

crying tears that cut through my face

those were the time I had wished

that death would come easy

for at that time I was a broken person

lost like a ship in a storm

like a herd without its shepherd

Those were the nights I had the skies

as my roof, the hailstones

as my teardrops, the stars were

witnesses to my desperation

Those were the lowest moments

of my life and I wanna forget

the pain, the tears, the heartache

Winter shall never be my season

For I died momentarily on one

of those cold, wet lonely nights.......

- M@t@Maya ( © 25-04-2009)

65. FOR EONS I HAVE SEARCHED

My soul has travelled the universe in search

Of a Soul Mate to make my life complete

Travelled the suns and moons and planets

To look for love within a heart that'll bleed.....

A heart that'll bleed at the sight and thought of me

A heart that'll promise love infinite

Through thick and thin through rain or shine

For I have searched long and wide.......

For eons have I travelled in search

And eons more I will continue to look

Until my heart's desires are fulfilled

I must find him by hook or by crook.....

I will search and I will look in every nook and corner

Where are you my heart's desire, my soul's provider

My love unmatched, my mind's robber, my body's on fire

Unmasked yourself and show me who you are.....

- M@t@Maya (© 07-02-2009)

64. YOU....

You are in my thoughts each moment of the day

You are in my heart each beating that it makes

You are in my mind each passing of the hour

You are in my reverie each time I close my eyes

You are in my dreams each night that I fall asleep

You are in my breath each time I inhale

You are in my eyes in everything I see

You are in my lips with every word I utter..........

Who are YOU, that YOU are with me in everything I do?

You are YOU, and you know who YOU are

Why are YOU always with me

Because I let YOU be, because.............

I love YOU.

- M@t@Maya ( © 14022010)

63. THE WORLD UPON MY PALM

I almost had the world upon my palm

So close it was I could feel it’s warmth

I could smell it’s fresh sunny showers

Could almost kiss its meadow flowers

It was just another mile to go

Just another trek to follow

It was just one more day to stay

One more stage to act a play

But Arrogance came creeping in

Corrupted my soul with so much sin

Fired my desire for what weren’t mine

Made me question anything divine

For with Arrogance came Greed

Told me to get more than I need

Yet, with everything that I’ve had

Life still feels empty and sad

Because Life doesn’t belong to me

It’s a gift and privilege from The Almighty

How could I even think of having the world

I’m just one arrogant, unthinking greedy girl

One can never ‘almost have’ something

That was HIS from the very beginning……

- M@t@Maya (© 02-12-2011)

62. I KNEW YOU BEFORE I MET YOU (THE DIVINE PLAN)

Who am I to meddle with Divine plan

To have messed up the puzzle pieces

Hoping to create the plan of Man

Trying to play GOD in all His greatness?

To wage a war against the Heaven's force

Is like trying to move the Earth with my finger

If only I had listened to the cosmic whispers

This hellish fear would no longer linger

Who am I to scoff at Destiny

To have mocked and tempted Fate

Hoping to change what was meant to be

To fool the Angels at Heaven's Gate?

I knew I loved you even before I met you

But I chose to fight my way against the tide

I wouldn't let my Chart of Life be proven true

I neglected you, forced you away from my side

Now I am faced with the final moment

To make a decision of a lifetime

But without a heart I'm just a body of flesh

Incapable of giving love devoid of crime

Is it fair to the man who loves me

Be it at day or in the dark of the night

Won't it be wrong to accept him to my life

Just because the future seems so bright?

Someone...Help me...I am at a crossroad...

- M@t@Maya (© 13-07-2009)

61. THE EDEN EXPERIENCE RELIVED

The world seemed like Paradise

Seen from their longing eyes

The flickering colours of neon lights

Seemed to be stars twinkling bright

Two people in the sweetest embrace

Intoxicated in lovers’ daze

The sweet fragrance from their heat

Blown by the wind when bodies met

She stood apart and looked at him

In all his majestic manly frame

Her breath quickened at the sight she saw

She was speechless struck in awe

Then a little voice in her head

Told her to taste the apple red

It told her that she’d find the Truth

The sweetest feeling God put on Earth

She gave him a portion - a bite or two

This would seal their love anew

With renewed strength and wanton desires

They could no longer contain their fires

Their bodies moved in rhythmic dance

Full of love and lust in trance

Two humans who had found love

Now angered The One above

She sat huddled on the bed

Put her arms to hide her head

He reached out to hold her tight

Wanting to love her through the night

But she was ashamed of her nakedness

What had she done, would there be forgiveness?

And lovingly he said to her

“I don’t care…I’ll love you forever

Together we’ll go through thick and thin

Forgive us God for our mortal sin

We would trade our immortality

For a moment’s glimpse of eternity….”

- M@t@Maya (© 26-03-2009)

60. ANGEL EYES

As it was when the sun set at the end of a day

Like the darkness when the moon disappeared from the midnight sky

So had been my days without your love

I became a shore without the breaking waves

A tree without its leaves

A garden without its flowers

I was a wasteland dried up and cracking

For, when you left

You also took my laughter and

my smiles and all that’s left are tears

that flood my ‘Angel Eyes’

- M@t@Maya ( © 03-03-2101)

59. AN OPEN BOOK

No one else could feel me like you do 

Read me like an open book right through

Everyone else see me for what I'm not

Whereas you could see me for all I've got

Today I remembered you and cried hard

Pouring endless tears down my cheeks

Seeing your images in every place

Feeling hopelessness wherever I peek

I know you could feel my heart in pain

That you could hear even my whispers

As I could feel every beat of your heart

Even though its miles away and we're apart

You touched my life Oh so tenderly

In the briefest moment ever to be felt

Yet you leave this burden so heavily

I've been through tears, heartbreaking hell

I wish I could turn back the hands of time

And re-write a different chapter of love

And be aware of that love can be so blind

And seek the guidance from the God above

You told me that love is not a game

And that to you it's a sacred thing

But now game it is indeed love's name

You've made it worthless into nothing

I bet you're tickled right to the bones

Thinking you've succeeded in fooling me

But that's okay, may God forgive you

I will not forget you till eternity

Living one's life in complete denial

Is living a life of deceit and lies

Life's indeed tribulations and trial

Of guilt and sins and silent cries

I'll continue to love you more each day

Love you true and wish you happiness

I'll cherish your memories in every way

Until the world disappears into nothingness

- M@t@Maya (© 11-06-2009)

58. NEVER OURS

Dream........

It was mine to have and to hold

Love.......

It was mine to give and share

Promise.......

It was mine to make

Fear......

It was mine to feel

Future......

It was ours in our dreams

Life.....

It was ours to share

But now 

 these are mere fantasies

Fantasies too far-fetched to reach

Because they were never ours to start with

- M@t@Maya ( © 21-12-2010)

57. LIKE A CANDLE BURNING WATER

The familiar chill gripping the heart

Like a vice unyielding holding its captive

The tears welling up ready to flow

But were caught frozen like stalactites

The anger that's raging and burning inside

Waiting to break loose to raze like hell

But instead... it ends in a soft whimper

Like that of a puppy lost in a stormy night

It oozes an icy chill of a breezy winter

Only to light up like a candle burning water

This is the moment so dreaded so uninvited

When one receives the news of betrayal

When one finds out about a cheating heart

When one realizes she's been lied to

A feeling that gnawed right into the soul

An anger that could boil meal for a thousand

A wish for vengeance that would survive eonS

The moment when reasons take the backstage

Where irrationality reigns in sovereignty

Like the moment when the candle burns water

- M@t@Maya (© 22-05-2009)

56. ANGEL

He calls me his 'Angel'

Where he returns to each tiring day

Where he lays his head and takes a nap

Where he rests his heart, come what may

He calls me his 'Love'

To enshroud upon his tired body

To spread like cream over his skin

To savour and drink like wild honey

He calls me his 'Heart'

That beats non-stop to give him life

That holds his lifeblood like no other

Like a friend, a companion or even a wife

He calls me his 'Sugar'

That flavours his sepia days

Leaving lingering sweetness on his lips

Giving him strength in whatever ways

I thank God for this gift of a man

Who lets me share his world of care

Who loves me purely for who I am

And who promises me he'll always be there

- M@t@Maya (© 22-05-2009)

55. BORN OF PASSION'S FIRE

Did he seriously think that she would care?

That she would cry till all her tear runs dry

Did he imagine that she would sit and mourn?

Like there's no more moon and sun in the sky

Well, she doesn't...honestly doesn't give a damn

For she did not owe him anything at all

He is just another passing fancy without a name

Just someone to pass the time until the fall

Did he seriously think he could control her?

Keep her hands tied, make her wear chastity belt

He's just a nobody who thinks he can own her

Who's just dreaming about a life he'd never felt

She has warned them over and over again

To never judge a book by its look and cover

For looks and appearance can easily deceive

What's hidden between the pages and whatever

For beneath that soft and silky skin

Lies strong bones of steel and wire

And behind that lovely winning smile

Beats a courageous heart of stone and fire

A heart that's capable of breaking a man

When forced to compromise respect and dignity

A smile that can conquer an entire land

And drive a man to his feet to become crazy

So don't you dare to spell and dictate

What you believe is your master line

You're not gonna get her to participate

In your stupid game, for she ain't blind

For she's a paradox of hate and love

A creature born of the passion's fire

She can be soft and demure like a dove

Or sly and passionate with raging desire

Take my advice, be cautious and be careful

When you cross path with such a wonder

For you might lose your head like a fool

And you'd realise it when she's got you under!

- M@t@Maya (© 13-06-2009)

54. FREE ME UNSHACKLE ME

Please free me, unshackle me

Let me fly away to my land of dream

Stop torturing me by letting me

Hanging by my life's thread

I have had enough of you

And you should have enough of me

I have set you free long ago

So stop imprisoning my heart

I am through with our world

Which in fact is only your world

I want to live the rest of my days

With those who love me in all ways

You are too greedy wanting all of me

Yet there was never a time

That I could call yours and mine

Set me free for I'm no longer blind

Take away this chain you've put around me

Unlocked this shackle and let me walk free

Someone else is more deserving of me

Enough of you and your selfish menagerie

Free me...unshackle me.....

- M@t@Maya (© 13-07-2009)

53. VIVID DREAM

I could smell whiffs of his aftershave

My eyes still closed from the morning ray

And I stretched my hand to reach out for him

Only to find he was not there.....

But it all seems so vivid and so real

I could feel he was there lying next to me

I could sense he was looking upon my face

And I was basking in total glee.......

Then I could hear him whispering into my ears

Telling me that he was mine and I was his

I could feel his warm caress upon my breasts

And I was swathed in total bliss......

What could be more painful than to realize

That it was only a vivid dream

A dream that may not even materialize

Coz I many never even get to see him......

- M@t@Maya (© 19-03-2009)

52. AN OPEN LETTER TO DEAREST

Dearest...... 

Forgive me for the hurt that I have caused you

I did not do it on purpose to break your heart

But we've come from two different worlds

Two worlds that are just too far apart

I will always love you no matter where you are

No matter who you will be you will always be with me

For you have succeeded in capturing this little heart

Even if you only dwell in my soul and live in my memory

Dearest......

I may just remain empty for the rest of my life

'Cos I know that my heart is now in your hand

Forgive me for I can’t be your loving and devoted wife

I’ll leave you alone – Be strong for you are a good man

Please don't give up on love though I have to go

Because you deserve so much loving from someone new

Someone who will live to give you much more

Someone who can live forever with you

Dearest.......

Please do not be sad, please do not weep

For our love is just like the rose tree

It has too many thorns that prick our hearts

Many obstacles that keep you away from me

Will you say 'goodbye' to me and close this chapter

Of our love story, let it be forgotten soon

Will you promise me to be happy, to be strong

I will be your Sun by day, and at night I'll be your Moon.

- M@t@Maya (© 08-02-2009)

51. DON'T !!

DON'T!!

Don't be sad when I can't let you

be a part of my life for it was never

meant to be.....

Don't give up on life when I shut you

away from the door to my heart for my heart

isn't with me.....

Don't shed a tear when I return your love

for your love deserve a better home and I

am not the one.....

Don't waste your words trying so hard

to talk me into receiving your sacred love

that deserves a holy sanctuary....

Don't ever regret what's not meant

to be for you should live and love someone

who loves you in return....

Don't turn back to watch me weep

over a love that's never mine

Go and look elsewhere.....

Don't be afraid of venturing again

even though your heart has been broken

Let it heal and love again....

Don't close your heart to a love

anew for you are still young and should

learn to live on....

Don't ever ever give up on your love

You are the best friend I have ever had

Let us remain so.....

- M@t@Maya (© 26-01-2009)

50. I NEED YOU TONIGHT

The loneliness I have to go through tonight

The longing I have for you to be near me

I am barely getting by till tomorrow's day light

Because I want you and I need you so badly

I can't imagine this life without you

I can't imagine waking up tomorrow

If you are not there I know I can't do

I can pull through because I need you

Wonder if you could feel what I'm going through

If your mind's held captive by this too

If your heart is feeling mine blue

Because, for me, I really really need you

I never thought I would feel this way

I never knew that love is such a pain

I needed you then, I need you now, everyday

I don't mind going through this pain again

I love you and I need you tonight

but do you need me and love me, too?

I don't know if you feel this is right

All I know is I love you and I need you

- M@t@Maya (© 08-04-2009)

49. IF I COULD

If I could spin threads of dreams

and weave a cloth of heavens

I would embroider pictures of the stars

and the moon singing angels‘ songs

I would present it to you

To shroud it upon your shoulders

To keep you safe and warm

To shield you from all harm

If I could build a bridge of love

Of cotton candies and rainbow beads

I would build it for you to cross

Over to reach me so that you heal

My longing heart and bring me joy

And in return I make you the happiest

Man in the whole world and galaxy

And I'll be yours until eternity

If I could undo this brocade of life

I would first of all free myself

From all that's tying me down

And I would set myself free

So that I can fly away on eagle's wing

And reach up to the highest heaven

Tied up to you by silver string

Never alone again; free from this longing

If I could return to the beginning of time

And re-write the story of love

I would begin with just me and you

Living the first days in paradise

Listening to the angels' harp

Enjoying every moment living wise

Then I would not have to choose

Between what is good and what to lose

But this is only 'If'.....

And if only things were different then…..

- M@t@Maya (© 03-04-2009)

48. WILL YOU?

Will you leave me

with a broken heart

now that I love

You with all of me?

Will you go away

and leave me

to wipe my tears

when I've given my all?

Will you forget me

once you find

success and fame

and I would just die?

Will you stop

calling my name

when you've found

a new love?

Will you no longer

dream of being

with me when

you're awake?

If you will

Then let me go now

when I can still

love you somehow 

- M@t@Maya (© 31-03-2009)